Self-Inquiry

I promised you, in my last post, that I would write more about the technique of Self-Inquiry. Here it comes.

It is truly like a love-affair;
If you want to go deeper in love, trust and intimacy, you have to be courageous to be honest, naked and vulnerable.
It is an invitation; To walk into the Unknown, with no security net. To Love, with no emergency exits. To expose yourself – without trying to impress, or to present any image of yourself – of "how you would like to be seen".

This time, the focus is not to go deeper in love with someone else. This time, it is all about you, exploring yourself – honestly, respectfully and friendly. 


Starting point
You might wonder if you need any background or any experience with meditation and self-discovery to use this technique? Not really.
You need a genuine curiosity about yourself. You need a willingness to see yourself and know yourself – and a wish to be your own friend.
Actually; a "background" can some times even be in the way. The very best starting point is if you are able to drop any idea you have about yourself. Any thought or belief you might have that you know who you are. Self-Inquiry is an invitation to go deeper than your thinking mind, deeper than what you know or think you know about yourself.

You can try this; See yourself as a totally undiscovered and unknown landscape... That you are a Mystery to be explored...
Then. Start the exploration from there.

A great adventure is waiting for you.


The technique
The technique of Self-Inquiry is very simple; we work with one question. We are repeating the same question over and over again. Every time you hear the question, is an opportunity to answer from a deeper layer of yourself.
It is not about finding the right answer, about resonating or figuring it out. It is about opening yourself to the question, feeling it – and allowing the answer to come to you – spontaneously and surprisingly, in the moment.

We normally do this technique together with a partner, but it is also possible (and it can be very beautiful!) to do on your own. I will come back to that. Now, I will explain the structure of how it goes when we work in a pair.


Get ready
You will need a timer/alarm clock. You can set it to 10 minutes.
Then you sit down in front of each other, face to face. You can choose if you sit on normal chairs, or on pillows on the floor. What is important is that you sit more or less in the same height, and that you are comfortable.
Find a sitting position where your spine is straight and that you at the same time can relax. Then you have the support to stay present and awake, ready for the exploration into your inner landscapes.

Before you start, close your eyes and tune in to yourself. Sit for a few minutes like this, in front of each other. Becoming aware of yourself, of the moment – what is present inside of you now – of feelings, thoughts, impulses, bodysensations...?
 

"Allow yourself to be surprised by what is coming. Explore yourself with curiosity and openness."

The first round of Self-Inquiry will last for 10 minutes: for those 10 minutes one of you will be the explorer, the other will be the listener. You can choose between you, who will be who.

I will first explain about the roles, and afterwards I will suggest the question to use.


The listener
When you are ready, and you start the timer – you who are the listener, will be the one to ask the question to the other. To ask the question, will be the only words you speak through those 10 minutes.

Because; when you have asked the question, you give the space to the other to answer and to explore. You will sit the whole time with your eyes open, looking at the other.
You are present for the other, aware and alert – but you do not say anything or make gestures to show you agree or disagree to what is said.
You stay neutral to what is shared.

I know that many times this is difficult for us; to just be neutral and listen. Many times it is tempting to go with our habits of comforting the other, wanting to actively support the other or wanting to give advices. But Self-Inquiry is not the moment for this. The explorer will have the space totally for him- or herself, without any influence from the outside.
The listener is there just as a support for the explorer to stay present with oneself.


The explorer
For you who are the explorer; When you hear the question; open yourself to it, feel what the question touches in you. Put words on the first thing that comes up in you.
These 10 minutes are for you to explore yourself. Even if a partner is sitting there in front of you; there is no need to explain anything to your partner, to make him or her understand you. This exploration is only for you.
You can choose if you have your eyes open, looking at the other, or if you close your eyes. It can change from moment to moment. You do what gives you the best support to stay in touch with yourself, to go deeper in yourself and to be honest.
And you keep on putting words on what is coming up in you.

As I already mentioned; the very best is if you can drop any idea you have about yourself, and about what you know about yourself – and start from an empty space of not knowing.

Maybe you don’t even understand the answers that are coming up in you; that is great! It means you are going into unknown places in yourself. Allow yourself to be surprised by what is coming. Explore yourself with curiosity and openness.


Nodding
When you, as the explorer, come to a point where you don’t know what more to say – then you can nod your head. This is a signal to the listener, the one who is asking the question – to repeat the same question one more time.
When you hear the question again, it is a new opportunity for the explorer to allow the answer to arise from a deeper or new layer.
Like this, you go on till the bell rings. The same person is the explorer for the whole 10 mintes, and the other is the listener for the whole 10 minutes.

Then you will change roles, and do the whole thing again.
(And after that again, I suggest you do it all one more time, with the same question; so that you both have the chance to be the explorer in two rounds. To listen to the other, often inspire us and open us for an even deeper investigation into ourselves).

"You are a Mystery to be explored – the question and the technique is just a tool, like a doorway to enter into your inner landscapes."

The question
So, what question to use?
There are many questions that can be used in Self-Inquiry – and it can also be worked with sequences of questions, that helps us to investigate into specific subjects.

But for now I will suggest this question to start with; "What is here now?".

You can use this question to come deeper in touch with yourself and the moment;
What is here – of sounds, fragrances, bodysensations, impulses...
What is here in you now – of feelings, emotions, moods...
What is here – in your presence, your Being – longing, restlessness, boredom... anything...
Just explore...

Many times it is magical to see what opens, through going deeper and deeper into a simple question like this.
You are a Mystery to be explored – the question and the technique is just a tool, like a doorway to enter into your inner landscapes.


Who is it for?
Honestly, I don’t think Self-Inquiry is for everyone. But if it touches an inner longing in you, if it gives a spark to an inner fire – try it out, explore it. If you have any questions, something you would like to read more about, or anything that is not clear for you; you are welcome to write me. I am not an expert, but I have had a love-affair with this technique for the last 12-13 years.

It is important to remember that it is not a mental exercise. The technique is not about thinking. We western people are very much trained to use our minds. Self-Inquiry is an invitation to explore from the Heart, from our innocence, spontaniety and simplicity.



Enjoy your Adventure!

 

photo from Nepal / Himalaya

photo from Phraya Nakhon Cave,
Thailand

#meditation #selfinquiry #selfdiscovery #knowyourself #loveyourself #befriendyourself