modern sannyasin
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| photo from Mevlana Garden, Brazil |
I have a Master.
His way of sharing himself with us is different than the traditional Master who lives in the ashram or monastery with his disciples. Swaha offers meditation retreats some times every year, in Mevlana Garden (Brazil) and in Dharma Mountain (Norway), and some times in other peaceful places in nature.
In between the retreats, his sannyasins are spread around the world, living their lives; with work, family and everything else that life is.
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| photo of Swaha in Dharma Mountain, Norway |
Meeting a Master
I first met him 15 years ago.
As long as I can remember, I have had a inner longing, like a natural self-inquiry, that seeks to find something deeper in life.
But meeting him, was the beginning of my journey towards embracing and respecting that inner direction in myself. The beginning of realising that it existed an answer to the call.
15 years of living
Through those 15 years, my two daughters has grown up, my father has gotten Alzheimers and Parkinsons disease, my mother died in cancer.
It has been 15 years of living, in a society where I many times feel like a total stranger.
In the meeting with a school system where the teachers count how many words my daughter can read per minute, instead of seeing her as the unique human being she is. That every child is.
And a health care system that seems to me like a machinery doing its best to keep bodies away from pain and dying. But that have no idea of the depth of what a human being is.
Monastery of Life
Through those years I have tried to work as a secretary, as a journalist, as a designer, as a photographer and artist – I have learnt massage, given sessions, facilitated meditation groups and writing groups – I have gathered the money to travel. Sometimes getting the money in, sometimes not. Sometimes paying my bills, sometimes opening the letters from the creditors, not really knowing what to do with it. And some times not opened them at all.
Many times, through these 15 years, when I have heard stories of meditators and mystics that withdraw from all worldly matters, to the silence of the Himalayas, or to a simple life in a monastery – I have to admit I have felt a small sting of envy. And some times a deep cry of longing.
"Through being in the world, and at the same time to be be committed to my choice to know myself – I have to face myself in a way I would not have needed if I renounced from the world."
The inner treasure
To seek for that inner treasure, the inner peace that comes from knowing oneself – in the middle of the world –is challenging. There are so many voices that wants our attention to go everywhere else but in, into ourselves.
But it also feels honest, and valuable.
The spiritual path becomes not only about finding inner peace, but also to integrate it into every side of life. Life itself becomes the spiritual practice, and our opportunity to grow.
To see myself
Through being in the world, and at the same time to be be committed to my choice to know myself – I have to face myself in a way I would not have needed if I renounced from the world.
I have to face all that which is triggered in me in the meeting with other people:
My insecurity, my tendency to hide and avoid, my fear of being criticised... And my deep and ingrained fear of not being worthy... That so many times makes me allow other people to step over my limits, that brings me a feeling of being invaded and disrespected by others. While in reality the one that disrespects me, is myself.
It all comes up in the meeting with others. Alone, meditating in the Himalayas, I would probably not have to meet it, nor to transform it.
The Master, he shines his light – On my face, so that I can see myself.
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| at the feet of the Master Dharma Mountain, 2007 |
#sannyas #master #guru #spiritualpath #spiritual #meditation #humangrowth
Beautiful words. How do you know me so much :) ? Looks like you were writing about myself.
SvarSlett